If you have come here from Affbuzz.com then you know what I’m talking about. If not, please go to Affbuzz.com and see what this world has come to.
For those of you who don’t know, Jonathan Volk and I have a history that goes waaaaay back. I’m not going to go into any details, but let’s just say, we would never trade Farmville secrets or poke each other on Facebook.
As you can see, the featured space on Affbuzz has been split in two. Frankly, I’m not impressed. I’m disgusted. It is extremely likely that Volk and his crew tampered with the Affbuzz algorithm, mixed in with black hat SE0s, and ninja optimization in order to get in the featured spot.
We all know the Affbuzz algorithm is more complicated than Google and HTML combined. So how did Volk manipulate it? Well one of my investigators sent me something very interesting…
Feast your eyes on this photo that was captured by a hidden security camera at the inaugural Affbuzz.com meet-up in San Francisco:
As you can see, Volk is using an iRead. For those of you who aren’t up-to-date with technology these days, it’s basically a knowledge extracting tool hidden in the shape of a iPhone. You just point it at someone’s brain and it downloads their knowledge. Look where Volk is pointing his iRead…it’s not at JB the owner of Affbuzz.com is it now???
Volk is no stranger to the iRead. The biggest brain of them all (Google) tells me Volk has optimized 272,000 pages talking about “iRead”. Seems like he’s been using it an awful lot lately.
Yes Volk, “Something Fishy is Goin’ On”.
Anyways not to worry. I’m actually in the middle of developing anti-iRead head gear to protect knowledge extraction from people like Volk. They will come with adjustable straps and a choice of two colors.
You have been officially busted Volk! Your reign of terror is over. I’m sure Affbuzz will do the right thing and sandbox you for life.