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The World’s Fastest Affiliate

Since I was five years old and bright eyed surprise I’ve always dreamt of going 220mph (330kmh) in a super car dressed as a pedobear.

I joke…that is probably one of my nightmares.  But doesn’t everyone enjoy seeing people piss their pants and confront their nightmares? That is a gift I am prepared to give to you guys.

Three weeks ago a contest was started by Affiliatewire. Affiliate bloggers had to submit their blog and get votes. The prize is flights to LAX, three days accommodation and a ride in a super car that goes 220mph. While I do not like to be coerced into affiliate network promo contests, in this case I made an exception.

I entered two weeks late – stone cold in last place. Now I’m hustling at 5th place but there is stiff competition.

So in the Mr Green fashion I’ve decided to give things a little twist. I have pledged that if I win I will do two things:

1. If I win, I will drive the car dressed as pedobear.

100% polyester. Surprisingly pricey but well worth the investment. They guarantee that it's enchanting.

2. I will also personally host an STM/Mr Green readers meet up whilst I’m in LA.

There ain't no meet up like an STM meet up!

I don’t ask much out of you almighty readers…but now I’m calling on you, yes YOU. I need your help to make my nightmare come true.

There’s around 20 other bloggers that are trying to take me down. They are trying to stop me from dawning the pedobear suit.

Vote for me here. (Thanks in advance)

For extra Mr Green respect points get your aunty to vote for me too.

Thank you to everyone who has voted already!!!

P.S. There are three world records at stake.

1. World’s fastest affiliate on land.

2. World’s fastest pedobear on land.

3. World’s fastest affiliate dressed as a pedobear on land.

Your Affiliate Strategy Sucks

I apologise for the title; it sounds angry. I love you all dearly however today’s post is not of my quill.

The ever so graceful Angry Russian is back and is about to explain to you a proven affiliate strategy that takes the luck out of this game.

Angry Russian:  Does this sound like you? You hear of a hot new offer or a hot new traffic source so you fire up Photoshop, bang out some creatives, and launch a new campaign. You sit and wait for approval…then…BAM all of the sudden $100 spend and 0 conversions.

Mr Green: Yes I hate that. I always think I could have spent that $100 on a day’s worth of laser tag.

Angry Russian: STFU! Don’t start this crap again.

The Problem.

A lot of  you affiliates wait until your affiliate manager throws another “sick offer that’s crushing it” your way. Then you repeat the process, launch the campaign and again, you curse “this shit don’t work!”

Of course it doesn’t work.

How can it when all you do is fling shit against a wall and hope it sticks? Let’s face it, most affiliates treat their business like gambling. They keep waiting to hit it big. So they throw $50 here and there testing new traffic, new offers and wait for that jackpot.

Now don’t get me wrong. If you test enough, something will make money.

BUT

… how long before that shit dries up and falls off the wall? We experienced affiliates have seen this too often. Traffic sources dry up, affiliates copy your campaign, ad networks rip your stuff or out your strategy, it’s just a matter of time.

Success in affiliate marketing isn’t achieved through luck, it’s found in scrupulous process. You need to build a systematic approach to how you run your campaigns. Mr Green can agree, and is actually one of the people who encouraged me to systematically test campaigns.

Mr Green: Ye speak truths. If you want to be in this long-term, you have to have a method to the madness. Relying on wishbones and horseshoes will only guarantee you a good conversion rate for a heart attack.

Angry Russian: Indeed. A seasoned affiliate has developed a process to which he can make almost any offer work on any traffic source. The only question typically is volume not profitability. A solid converting offer doesn’t need to be a monster to be scaled to $x,xxx a day. All of these “killing it” offers are just distractions. Stick to steady offers and develop your process and you will feel better knowing that no matter how this eternally evolving  industry shifts, you will have a system for testing and optimising campaigns.

The Solution.

Angry Russian uses a simple 7 step routine.

Just to share a real world example, here at FlipSite Media we’ve broken down our process to something like this:

Mr Green: Nice Plug. Very subtle.

Angry Russian: …I wish I could physically hurt you through the internet.

• Step1: We have a “go to” traffic source(s) with whom we test offers. What we look for are reasonable rates, CPM bidding, quick approvals and easy launching.

• Step2: We then leverage our media buying experience and use past experience of creatives to build new ones to compare against controls.

• Step3: We collect data. At this point profitability isn’t vital. We just want to know which ads and landing pages work and if we’re lucky we gather some targeting info as well.

• Step4: We take our data, dissect it and launch more campaigns to figure out the exact [banner + lander + targeting] that yield the best results yet still have enough VOLUME to warrant us pressing further. NOTE: You don’t need to use a lander – you could direct link – but often advertisers have more than one lander so we try to test all combinations.

• Step5: Once we know our combinations, we scale to other traffic sources. Typically once you know your target demographic, it’s likely that you’ll be able to make it work elsewhere.

• Step6: Rinse and repeat for new offer(s).

• Step7: Always be split testing and optimising existing campaigns – usually weekly or monthly depending on ROI and volume.

Mr Green: Thank you Mr Happy Fappy Man. My strategy is very similar to yours, except I tend to use landers the majority of the time.

Mr Green: For sure. Take a look at Bear Grylls, he uses the same strategy in every single survival situation. 1. Climb to the highest point, to have the best view on surroundings. 2. Find food and water. 3. Sort a shelter. 4. Find a stream and follow it down (it always leads down to civilizations).

Angry Russian: What has this got to do with affiliate marketing?

Mr Green: Not too much..it’s just that I’ve wanted to talk about Bear’s strategy and never got the chance.

Angry Russian: …

———————

I am curious how many of you readers follow a systematic approach when creating campaigns. If you don’t, have you successfully been doing affiliate marketing for more than a year?

Where In The World Is Mr Green? (Jan 2012)

Hello people!

I thought I would pop in and let you know what’s been going down in Mr Greenland. This post will be like secret baby-sitters club “dear diary” update, but ten times as tough.

For those who’ve been trying to get hold of me for the past month, I haven’t meant to ignore you. I was AFK (away for komputer). I have been trying to catch up with emails as much as possible, although in practise this has been tough >>

The reason for this backlog is that I went road tripping around the north of New Zealand with some Italianos and either had limited wifi access, limited mobile phone access, or a combination of both. My calendar says it’s meant to be summer in New Zealand but it certainly doesn’t feel like it. We actually had a historically horrific storm. Here are some photos from the music festival we went to:

Image Copyright Scottie T Photography

Image Copyright Scottie T Photography

I got back home yesterday and tomorrow I am going to be leaving for Affiliate Summit West in Vegas wohooooooooo!!!

This is going to be a big one for me for a few reasons:

• I am helping co-host what should be the most epicest affiliate meet up EVER. We’ve had over THREE times the RSVPs that we can accept. I’ve actually had to block new RSVPs (sorry!)
• I have got some new ventures in the works which means meeting after meeting. This will be the first time I am going to be running on a schedule. Hope I will be able to release the news soon!
• I’m going on a mini affiliate snowboarding trip after ASW (with the coolest possy ever).

• I am nominated for Pinnacle Awards Affiliate Blogger of the Year. I never ever imagined my blog would get recognised anywhere. I intended it as some kind of “venting tool”. When I first created it I went with the slogan “Best Affiliate Marketing Blog* *In New Zealand”, since I thought I was the only NZ affiliate blogger. Fingers crossed Joe’s picks are right and I will be able to change my slogan to something more official.

I’d also like to say thank you to all you glorious readers! If I could give each of you an award I would, but I dunno how feasible that would be. I feel like I can have a conversation with you guys, instead of just being a lecturer with an e-whiteboard. Your feedback and suggestions have been extremely valuable. Thank ya!

Lastly, if you want to meet up at ASW, just holla. I won’t bite unless you give me food. I’ll be getting in on the 6th of Jan. Can’t wait to see the crew!

P.S. I kissed a girl last week.

The 5 Breeds of Affiliate Managers.

Before I get started I want to warn you that this post is high cholesterol; it’s packed with a copious amount of cheesy metaphors. Please don’t judge me.

Now, leggo!

Affiliate managers are key figures in this industry. They bridge the gap between advertisers and affiliates. They are extremely useful, especially when starting out. I’ve made some great friends over the years with some of them (some have even visited NZ to challenge me to a dance battle). Over a year ago I wrote a post on what affiliate managers want from affiliates. It’s time to flip it around.

I’ve worked with more than 30 affiliate managers over the years. I’ve broken them down into five groups based on their approach to affiliate management.

1. The Drill Salesman

I got the best offer for you!

This is a hybrid of a drill sargent and a used car salesmen. They hit you up about all the new offers you should be trying, even if you mention that you are not looking for new offers. It seems like every offer they have is the new hottest thing. They have the highest payouts. The best everything…unfortunately not the best affiliate managers. They drill you with offers until you crumble like a piece of racid feta cheese.

2. The Ghost 

brb.

Never around. Takes ages to respond. They are there to collect your commission without anything in return. Contact is as scarce as a unicorn with 17 legs.

3. The Tech Support

How may I help you sir?

Pulls your links, places your pixels. Reliable and predicatable. You come to them, they wont come to you. Great for experience affiliates, might be a bit tough to work with when you are starting out.

4. The Premium Concierge

Have you tried doing this?

Whatever you need done, they make it happen. You give them an end goal and they help you to get there. They are your business partner. They have experience so they can suggest improvements for your campaigns. Most importantly they are professional.

5. The Hustler

Check out what I found for ya!

These guys push the line of what affiliate managers do. They have eyes all over the place. They get “inspiration” from other affiliates…on the network. They share entire campaigns with you. Do they share your campaigns to their other affiliates? Of course not…they are your exclusive BFF…yeah right.

Now obviously there are affiliate managers that cross between a couple of these groups, but that is the main crux of it.

I’d also like to disclaim that I’m not hating on any affiliate managers. There is always just a couple in the bunch that ruin it for everyone. For the most part they act on the feedback they are given by affiliates and mould to their needs. So if an AM suggests a campaign that they saw, and the affiliate reacts in a positive way, obviously the AM will keep doing that.

Personally, I like the “tech support” type and the “premium concierge” type depending where I’m at with a certain campaign.

Trust is the biggest thing for me. I want to know that whenever I run a BAWSE campaign, my affiliate manager won’t go parading it around their network. I’ve experienced a network sharing my campaign, and I can tell you it got saturated as fast as rug at a keg party.

If an affiliate manager comes to me and says “try this campaign, one of my affs is KILLING it. Here’s the lander, run it on this traffic source“, it makes me automatically think that if they are sharing this stuff with me, it is very likely they would have no problem sharing my campaign with others.

I want someone who’s responsive, who’s creative, who treats you like a business partner. I know when an affiliate manager has got my back when they suggest running a certain offer at a competitor’s network.

What do you want from your affiliate manager?

How do you feel about AMs sharing campaigns with you? Have any of your campaigns been shared around by a network?

P.S. To all my affiliate managers reading this, I <3 you.

Plenty Of Fish – International

Every once in a while an opportunity opens up in the industry where profit is made as often as a sob story on x-factor (every fricking time!)

It was seen with the launch of Myspace Ads, POF Ads, FB Ads, Leadimpact, I could go on. However you can’t forget about the smaller splashes, like the new 310×110 banners on POF. Whoever rolled the dice with those know what I’m talkin bout.

As of today Plenty of Fish opened up advertising options for Brazil, France, Mexico & Spain.

This basically means:

Money

Dinheiro

Argent

Dinero

ROIs are going to be big, but only for a while. If you are a newbie with a smaller budget. This is a PERFECT opportunity for you, to get your hands direct on a mainstream traffic source.

Peace & love!

P.S. Yes I will be updating the uploader AGAIN.

Affiliate Meet Up Of The Year.

In the six years I’ve been doing affiliate marketing I’ve attended numerous meet ups. Lots of them I don’t remember, infact, if I’m honest I’ve only been to three worthwhile meet ups. Two of them were hosted by the legendary tracking202 guys, the other was held by the mysterious man over at Affbuzz.com.

STORY TIME

Affiliate Summit West (the best conference ever) is creeping up fast! I knew things were changing up over at 202, so they’d be a bit busy to hold their meet up. I also knew Mr Affbuzz is hecticly working some mysterious venture so him hosting one is out of the question.

Someone has to host a decent affiliate meet up…

Weeks pass, no word of a meet up…then out of the blue I got a call from Adsimilis Eleah. She let a brotha know that they’d hired the “Hangover Suite” (from the movie) at Caesar’s Palace. She was wondering whether we would be down to hold a meet up there.  Lets just say, when I started doing some google image searches, the word “no” disappeared from my vocabulary.

We started brainstorming what we’d need…it quickly became clear that a beer pong tournament was necessary. I’ve always wanted to have battles to the death against, other affiliates,other  traffic sources, other affiliate networks. What better way to fight it out, than with a brutal game of beer pong?

Next, I hollared at my boy from Affbuzz. I knew he could make the MEANEST birthday cake (it’s disgustingly delicious). This is a vital ingredient for any meet up. Whether it’s someone’s birthday or not, is irrelvant.

Two examples of cakes that can't live up to the Affbuzz legendary standards.

• Beer pong – check.
• Affbuzz birthday cake - check.

We ain’t stopping there. We need mooooaaarrr!

BONG! (the sound of a new Skype message). Nana from 202 hits me up, he had a flash of genius “We are happy to sponsor a white tiger to be at the meet up”. Alright now we are talking!

Our second choice animal. Originally we were gunning for a Liger...turns out that they don't exist.

• Beer pong – check.
• Affbuzz birthday cake – check.
• A white tiger – check.

There is just one more piece missing….

YOU GUYS!!!

There are already over 200 people registered for this meet up. Crazy! This includes all your favourite traffic source reps (except for the blue devils).

If you haven’t RSVPed already, do it!

This will set a new standard for affiliate meet ups. We want all of you sophisticated, dapper people with a touch of swag to enjoy it with us.

Find out more info on Facebook here.

If you have already RSVPed, you are just super awesome. ex oh ex oh.