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Meet us in Amsterdam!

Meet us in Amsterdam!

Good morning/afternoon/evening!

I’m going to keep this brief…

The STM crew, F5 Media and I are back in Amsterdam for another shindig.

May 3rd, we are hiring a bar/lounge in the middle of Amsterdam. We have a couple speeches planned (something we have never ever done before). There will be a mix of some of the biggest marketers from around world. As well as staff from largest of the biggest ad platforms. Once the night strikes upon us we’ll hit the town and bask in the Amsterdam nightlife.

Conveniently timed around Queens Day/Kings Day (30th April). It’s the perfect excuse to give yourself an enjoyable tax deductible business trip!

RSVP here (worlds biggest button):

Screen Shot 2013-03-01 at 10.43.49 AM

Yolo.

raccoon

The Raccoon Got Into The Copier Again.

raccoon

Helloooo! I wrote this post last week, but just got around to posting it today, so times might be a bit off.  I do warn you it’s ridiculously long, and the title is 100% irrelevant.

I’ve been on a pleasurable business trip for the past 3 weeks. This post is just a little journal, as well as a chance to thank a few people.

Man it was eventful.

Here goes…

Day 1. Arrived in Prague. Met with Besmir my Italian/Albanian business partner for the first time. He doesn’t really read this blog so I can freely talk smack about him. Haha no but seriously it was a relief to find he was a super cool chill guy. Rumours hinted of sketchy cartel activities plus more.

We came across this awesome street performer in Prague.

Day 2. Met up Jordan our other Canadian business partner a.k.a Bad Juju a.k.a World’s worst immune system. We strolled around Prague city center, talked shop and hunted for the best goulash in town.

Day 3. We played in a mini football tournament set up for the conference. Let’s just say the silverware has been taken down to the South Pacific. Thank you Vlad for organizing it!

That night there was an party organized. At this point we discovered that there was a prohibition set on alcohol 20% +. It was illegal to sell anything other than beer, wine, martini and baileys. The black market spirit producers got greedy and added all the extra nasty stuff that shouldn’t be in vodka, rum etc. This ended up killing around 30 people and permanently blinding many others. Shizen.

Day 4. Conference day. I was a little underwhelmed. it was very small, and seemed very unorganized. It was hard to tell what was a booth, and what was just a group of people chilling around a couch. I did however pick up a few interesting tips and industry trends (sorry confidential info :D). One thing I noticed was that the conference brought a noticeably older audience, then the typical US conferences. At night there  was another organized party, twas very strange being at a nightclub only serving beer and wine. Also, I noticed that people danced like they had all been taking dance lessons, was an interesting combination for sure.

Day 5. Conference was on again. We did a few tourist things, saw some really cool art, including some creepy big bronze baby statues.

Creepy baby sculptures in Prague

That afternoon we flew out to Amsterdam. Then checked into the apartment we booked from airbnb.com. It was perfect, right in the middle of town, quiet, good work space. The only odd things were that the bedrooms didn’t have doors, and the lounge was street level so everyone walking past were checking out what we were working on. Supposedly in Amsterdam if you close your curtains in before it gets dark it means you have something to hide.

The house we rented was just on the right…perfect for peeping tom’s

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At this point my recollection of what happened on certains days mash into one big mess.

——

After a day or two of settling in, we managed to start a routine:

  • Wake up do a few hours work.
  • Head out to brunch (I don’t think we ever got out for breakfast time)
  • Back to work.
  • Get a sneaky sandwich from the most awesome deli ever. (so fracking delicious it was ridiculous)
  • Hit the gym. ( I strongly believe this is one thing that kept me from driving my partners crazy)
  • Work a few hours.
  • Dinner.  (this trip made me hate tripadvisor, every top rated place was always booked out).

It was so productive being in the same timezone and same office space. Damn son.

The crew doing their thang.

STM & F5 Boat Meet Up! So…we hired a boat that was ridiculously large. I think there were 3 floors, huge dinning areas and outdoor areas. The meet up was awesome, around 50 people turned up from all corners of the world, Was great to put names to faces, and meet a tonne of new people. We cruised around for 3 hours, then headed out to Amsterdam town. We will definitely be hosting another one of these!

The Amsterdam version of Titanic we had for meetup.

We didn’t end up doing many touristy things, but managed to walk the streets everyday…most times longer than expected, due to our navigating incompetence.

Amsterdam was beautiful, the houses, the canals, the atmosphere, I even met a real life rice dog. I definitely want to visit again.

Next stop NYC!

The reason I was there was because mainly thanks to you guys, you readers!  Thank you! I won a contest hosted by Revenuewire. The prize was return flights to NYC, hotel, racing Ferraris for an entire day, and a whole lot more.

Day 1: I got in, jet lagged as hell, confused and disorientated. Went out for a scrummy dinner with the guys.

Day 2:  Race day! Woke up 5.30am. Went to the “heliport” (never knew airports for helicopters existed, we even got to chill in the VIP lounge!). Flew over NYC to the race track, it was stunning.

helicopter new yeork

Heading to the chopper loaded with a special package.

Side note: Found out the day before that the reason we were moved from an LA race track to an NYC race track was because a guy died whilst racing, so they closed the track. Nerves we a little shaken.

I dawned my pedobear outfit, took some photos. Then hooned round in the Ferraris for hours. Definitely got my heart pumping as the co-drivers kept trying to push me to go faster and faster.

pedobear-ferrari

Nuff said.

pedobear-ferrari

Hunting for prey.

That night we went to a Yankees game. Bryce (another winner) hussled for scalped Yankees tickets in the Bronx…that was an experience.

Day 3:  Went for lunch with local hipster entrepreneur Mr Wasserman. Then went to out to dinner with Revenuewire and crew to a swanky steakhouse. After dinner we hit broadway to see “The Book of Moron” (a show created by the guys from South Park), it was hilarious.

Thank you once again to Breanne from Revenuewire! She with went with every suggestion we had for the few days. The perfect host!

Day 4: Back to kiwiland!

It was awesome to meet everyone on the trip! Sorry if I didn’t mention you all. Hope to see you again!

I’m done writing…1000 words is ridiculous.

mr green affiliate conference

Mr Green’s Month of Mayhem

mr green affiliate conference

Hola! How you doing? Geudddd. I’ve got the little blogging itch again.

This month I’m going on the worst organised round-the-world business trip possible. I booked my flights last week and am leaving today. I really need to start booking my trips further in advance. $7,393 USD was the lowest Air New Zealand fare from New Zealand to Prague. So, I decided I might skip Air New Zealand this time around.

The plan

Today I am heading on an epicly long-haul flight to Prague to unite with two of my business partners. One (Besmir) I’ve never met before.

prague

Fun fact: Horror movie “Hostel” was filmed in Prague. It was about some naive male tourists who were tortured to death.

There are rumours circulating that Besmir hasn’t been able to attend US-based conferences because of previous activity with Albanian cartels.  I can’t confirm or deny the truth of these rumours, so it should be interesting. It’s my first time in Prague so I’m excited to venture around. I’ve heard great things.

From Prague, we go to Amsterdam to host a STM and F5 meet-up.

amsterdam boat

This boat will be ours for the meet-up. It’s about 1/10th the size of the Titantic and 1/5th the size of Noah’s Ark.

We’ve hired a boat filled with food, dranks, and sweet tunes to cruise around the waterways. We have about 80 RSVPs so it should be a good one. If you are in Europe on the 30 September, then come cruise around, talk shop, and chill with a bunch of ridiculously cool people. You can RSVP here.

We have booked an apartment from airbnb.com, which is going to be our office for a couple of weeks. We will probably drive each other mad but at least should get some decent work done.  Something special twill brew from that work period.

Early October I go off on my lonesome over to NYC.

This leg could be the end of me. The reason I am going over there is because of this http://www.live-dangerously.com/contest/. I have my pedobear outfit ready to roll too. Thank you to all my readers who made my nightmare a reality (I secretly hate you all).

Anyone buzzing around NYC, hit me up! I will be needing some moral support.

Look forward to see all over you cats over in Amsterdam and New York!

Free Mobile Tracking Software - (Download It Now)

Free Mobile Tracking Software – (Download It Now)

An uncomfortably closeup shot of Santa is welcomed in any of my blog posts.

I’ll keep this short and extremely sweet…sweet enough to make your teeth rot.

  • Do you run mobile campaigns?
  • Do you worry about click loss?
  • Do you worry about the safety of your tracking data?

Well well well, you must’ve been a good kid this year, because your worries are now over! STM Santa has delivered you an early Christmas present.

You can find the newly released mobile tracker on STM. It’s fast, it’s secure and it’s self hosted.

I run my mobile campaigns on it. I love it. It’s easy to set up, it does everything you need from a mobile tracker.

Features include:

  • 1 – Self-Hosted
  • 2 – 100% Open Source
  • 3 – Weighted offer rotation with different payouts ( improvement to original prosper )
  • 4 – Carrier Detection
  • 5 – Handset Detection
  • 6 – Model Detection
  • 7 – OS Detection
  • 8 – Non javascript tracking technology to reduce click loss
  • 9 – Handles million dollar campaigns

Want to do download it?

- Are you an STM member? Yes? It’s stickied in the affiliate marketing section on STM. It will cost you $0

- Are you not part of STM? Yes? It will cost you $12,999.95. We think this price is fair.

Also, if you have any insanely obscure requests of features to be added let us know. We will be updating it frequently.

Love to all,

Mr G

mrgreen-new-york

Mr Green In New York

mrgreen-new-york

The kid is back…for now.

I wanted to post about ASE because it was fracking brilliant! Plus I wanted to say sorry to some of the people that I couldn’t catch up with.

I’d also like to apologise in advance for a couple of things:

  • I have to withhold some names for one reason or another.
  • Some parts of this post will make completely no sense to people who weren’t there.

Leggo!

Friday – Jet lagged like a bawse

I left New Zealand and landed in NYC 20 something hours later. Felt like utter crap and ready to hop into bed.

Pulled up to the Hilton at 1am. Bumped into Jordan (my business partner) and Mrs Jordan. It was Mrs Jordan’s last night in NYC so we went out for a drink at an 80s hiphop bar called Bob’s.  Met some odd Kiwis, as well as Miss Jaimmie Bumblebee and The WeedSeeds crew. It was funky.

Went to the famous Halal cart outside the Hilton and chomped down some of that goodness. Andy D unfortunately couldn’t touch the stuff throughout the conference week.

hala cart new york

How insane is this? A $6 halal cart always has a line rain or shine 24/7.

Saturday – First meetings

Went out for a Lobster risotto brunch – was delish!

Jordan and I caught a ridiculously big limo with a driver who called himself Obi1kenobe (official spelling), then hit up the Clickbooth Exchange event at the Marriott. I learned that someone has a product for everything – I mean everything! “Learn how to make sparkling Christmas tree decorations by recycling your toenails”?

Finally got to meet up with half of the mighty Team ASP crew (winners of the STM hunger games) aka The Thunder for Down Under: Josh, Andy, Jax, Trung, and Lionel Richie. The coolest cats ever.

Then meet up with the super nice ich bin Dutchies from Deutschland (Alex, Stef and Nick: I know your not Dutch, but you for ease of writing you are now a Dutchy).

Went to Kiss & Fly.

Kiss & Fly became the regular hangout

Sunday – Keen As

Meetings with some awesome top secret people.

Missed a meeting :S

News Flash: Between meetings, a guy with huge knife went round time square trying to slash people, police shot him.

Went to the London where we meet up with Max and his possé from WhatRunsWhere, Matt Wizzlewazzleman, Comrade Stanley from Wickedfire and Michael Pomposello from Micael Pomposello.

Had a sick dinner at Keens with C2M. It was amazing the roof was lined with thousands of smoking pipes.  Steve ordered a FOUR pound lobster. I’ve never seen such a beast. Thanks C2M!

Went up to the hotel, had a shave, got skuxxed up then went to the Badger Ball at the Hudson (which was very chill, definitely my favorite location for early night functions). I reunited with many good folks, in no particular order, and forgive me if my memory is off: Alex P, Ryan Peesant, Senor Ngo, Nicky Caké, Eleah, April, Naomi, Rohail, some guy in a unicorn mask, and a few new cats too.

Jordan attracted some hostile beef from the bar tender, unsure why.

Went to SL with Adsimilis.

Check out the ceiling!

Monday – Full Capacity

More meetings!

Went to our meet up with Adsimilis at the London Sky Suite. It was a grand success…with a few hiccups. We went a few times over the capacity allowed in the suite. Security guards were posted outside the suite door to stop any new people coming in. More people were stuck in the lobby than were at the actual meet up.

The London laid down a $2000 fine for the excess people we hosted!

For those who did make it in the suite, thanks for coming! I got to meet a tonne of STM members for the first time, and then some old friends like The Happy Russian, Justin B and the Sundance Kids, Giancarlo, Carlito and Josh O.

Team ASP, Adam W, Jordan and I went to dinner with W4 at Morimoto. Oh my word I have never seen so much sushi, it was insane! Josh was feeling the burn after scoffing down enough sushi rolls to feed a family of wild North African red bears. Thank you W4!

With full stomachs Jordan “efficiently” navigated us over to A4D’s event at The Griffin. It was packed. I got to meet my dance battle arch nemesis Gretchen M. Phil K: if you are reading this, sorry it took me a while to figure out who you were, you company name totally put me off!

We then went to Clickbooth at the Hudson again. It was quiet, apart from seeing Ian Fernando backing his thang up on the d-floor, I’ve never seen some use their prescription glasses as a prop for dancing (I would have said hey, but didn’t want to cramp your style).

The Griffin! Yes!

Tuesday – The Heartbreaker

More meetings!

Got picked up by C2M by this beast of a “limo” called “The Heatbreaker”. All the C2m crew were there, apart from Michael who recently got escorted out of the conference because he decided to pick up and shake the Lifelock mascot around. Also in the limo was Rohail, G Mario, and Israel’s 9th fastest 400m sprinter.

We headed over to the Yankees stadium and were set up in one of the lounges there, it was sick! I think I finally understand the game of baseball now. My highlight of the game was seeing the pitcher getting smashed in the calf muscle by a returning hit and trying to play it cool like it ain’t no thing. I gotta say going to a baseball game is a PERFECT environment for talking business.

After that, we took The Heartbreaker to Kiss in Fly. It felt like I was in some music video coming out of that limo walking straight into the nightclub infront of a huge line who had been waiting for an age.

Oh snap that’s The Heartbreaker

Wednesday – Mudslide

The conference was finally over. Team ASP and the Dutchies once again headed out for lunch. This time it was pastrami heaven, a famous place called Katz. Apart from the terrible service, the epic long wait and the crappy hot dogs, the MASSIVE pastrami sandwiches were half decent.

We then went to a juice bar famous for their “Mudslide” juices. Once again Josh felt the urge to feed him and the family living inside his body three times over. He destroyed close to three large thick juices. In the taxi ride home he was dry retching outside the window, vividly describing how far up the juices were in his throat.

That night we went had host the inaugural affiliate world cup of pool. If my memory serves me right Team NZ came up tops. We then ventured out to get some food where we were confronted by an intimidatingly sized tranny who either hated out accents or didn’t like the fact that we wanted to eat at one table. Marcus/Mary, the man/lady, wouldn’t let some of the guys out of the restaurant so we called the cops, it was great entertainment!

Katz Deli, mostly hype. Service 3/10 food 7/10

Katz Deli, mostly hype. Service 3/10 food 7/10

With food on our minds, we headed to time square. Finally got some food. Then Josh took the duty upon himself to plank on a cop car.

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ADHD Summary:

Steve H. ate a four pound lobster. Andy D. can’t touch Halal. Josh M. eats too much. Don’t go to Katz.

Affiliate Summit East has grown a heck of a lot since last year.

The STM and Adsimilis meet up was full past capacity.  Fines were given.

The Hudson Terrace and The Griffin are the best places for events in NYC.

Going to a baseball game is great for talking business.

The Heartbreaker is a trucked sized limo that should be used to leverage access into any nightclub.

I love this industry, some many great people. Nice seeing you all!

Maynzie (Josh) on planking duty

Hello Stranger

Hello Stranger

Dear Stranger,

It’s been a while, hasn’t it? I haven’t posted for three months, and man does it feel odd to be writing again.

I’ve missed you. I missed the way you scrolled down my posts.

I know what you’re thinking, why the lack of posts?  It’s not you. It’s me.  It’s a combination of travel, my new ventures, a change in business mindset, me questioning why I still blog, plus a touch of laziness.

I started this blog to act as a networking tool. I now know a few people. Then, I wanted it to be a quality resource for marketing advice. I taught a few people.

Now I’m thinking of posting more high-level business conversation. This year I have invested myself in F5, an ad agency, a luxury BnB, and a solid chunk of stocks. Even though I still run campaigns myself, I’m more stimulated in talking about running a business then running campaigns.

Don’t get me wrong, I will still post some whack stuff. You will still question whether I am on tripping out on something chronic.

Anyway, I just wanted to say hey, and expect some more posts coming up from me very soon.

P.S. What the heck is with the “group” drama on Facebook?

I’d love to know. I don’t usually like to get involved with that kind of stuff, but when people automatically add you to a group and you get notifications for every single post, you don’t really have a choice. People seem to be getting a little precious.

P.P.S. Team Asia & South Pacific FTW! I’m proud of you lads!

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A Little Introduction
Welcome to the best blog, probably in the world. My name is Lorenzo Green and I'm a 20 something year old (increasing daily) full-time super superb affiliate marketer from New Zealand.
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