Earlier this week I received a very angry letter from the infamous Angry Russian himself, Alex “Doctor Baskov Lenevski Kupchenko” Tsatkin, from FlipSite Media. Aside from going on about the fall of “Mother Russia”, he commanded I post a set of rules for affiliates that he had sent to me. I didn’t really have a choice here, he threatened my family.

1. Rule #1 there is no “Affiliate Marketing” - That is to say there is just marketing. Affiliate marketing is no different than the principles of marketing that were established way before the first Tsar of Russia.

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2. Ask for a payout bump – If you’re running street price on offers you’re a SHMUCK, especially if you’re testing a new campaign. Why not give yourself room to get profitable?

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3. Understand full sales funnel - This is a critical step that a lot of affiliates miss. Most offers aren’t just one page, and you have to know what’s going on the second page (especially rebill offers) to know how the offer will work.

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4. Know the advertiser – No I’m not saying go direct, but knowing who you’re working with will help you know the things like, if they can they handle volume. Will they start scrubbing fast? Will they be around for a while?Do they have adequate MID’s set up? It pays to make sure they aren’t bad apples.

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5. Get on the HORN – If you’re not on the phone at least once a day, you are missing out big time. You should be talking on the phone to your AMs, your traffic sources, your tracking solution providers, your bank rep, other affiliates etc. IM and Skype are NOT substitutes. I can’t tell you how many “heads up” and “insider knowledge” I’ve gotten from simply talking on the phone rather than email or IM.

Mr Green says: Great point. Insider knowledge for the win!

Alex says:….you just ruined my pretty list.

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6. ABST – Always Be Split Testing. You should always be testing new combinations even if you’re campaign is already profitable. Don’t be lazy. As Ruck always said “the smallest changes can yield the biggest results.” Case in point: a simple headline change on a recent campaign I was running increased CTR and CR from my lander allowing me to bid more aggressively and increase volume from a $100 profit campaign to $1000 profit a day campaign.

Mr Green says: So true! I recently witnessed the huge differences simply between button shapes.

Alex says: God dammit, stop plugging yourself in MY post.

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7. Always Rotate Same Offers – Don’t assume that if it’s the same offer it will convert the same across various networks. There are dozens of tracking solutions out there, plus networks that shave leads, and even advertisers that scrub networks differently. You want to always rotate the same offer across various networks to ensure you know with whom you’re making the most money. Another bonus is, you’re diversifying your risk in case something goes wrong and the network threatens not to pay, or pay on time.

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8. Know when to walk away – I know most n00bs have a problem with pulling out too quickly, but most super affiliates have a problem with walking away from a losing campaign. Super affiliates have the mind frame that they can make it work, even when the data shows otherwise.

Mr Green: You could say super affiliates have the same persistence as Soviet soldiers in the Battle of Stalingrad.

Alex says: …

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9. Put Money Aside – I don’t care how baller you are right now, your campaign WILL die eventually. Don’t be a dumb ass and put money aside for testing new offers and getting by during the lean times… and if you don’t think there will be lean times then you’re in for a rude awakening when someone pulls the rug from under you. Just a few examples from personal experience: traffic source goes down, network pays really late, offer goes down with no substitute, advertiser duplicates campaign, or bigger affiliate plays chicken* with me and I have to back off.

*Affiliate playing chicken – this is when 2 affiliates compete head-to-head knowing that they are both losing money. When done with a n00b, usually the smaller affiliate can’t handle loss for very long and will back off. When 2 super affiliates go head-to-head, then the results can be much more devastating.

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10. Pay it forward – If you’re not helping other guys get their feet wet because you’re afraid of competition, or maybe you’re too busy, then you’re not only a sucker, you will also not survive in the industry. Today you’re helping someone out, tomorrow the tables can be turned and they can be helping you.

Mr Green: Alex I would love to get your help some day. I think we could the best business partners ever!

Alex: Oh I forgot to add rule #11, never help shmucks.

Obey these rules or prepare to be disappointed.