The kid is back…for now.

I wanted to post about ASE because it was fracking brilliant! Plus I wanted to say sorry to some of the people that I couldn’t catch up with.

I’d also like to apologise in advance for a couple of things:

• I have to withhold some names for one reason or another.
• Some parts of this post will make completely no sense to people who weren’t there.

Leggo!

Friday – Jet lagged like a bawse

I left New Zealand and landed in NYC 20 something hours later. Felt like utter crap and ready to hop into bed.

Pulled up to the Hilton at 1am. Bumped into Jordan (my business partner) and Mrs Jordan. It was Mrs Jordan’s last night in NYC so we went out for a drink at an 80s hiphop bar called Bob’s.  Met some odd Kiwis, as well as Miss Jaimmie Bumblebee and The WeedSeeds crew. It was funky.

Went to the famous Halal cart outside the Hilton and chomped down some of that goodness. Andy D unfortunately couldn’t touch the stuff throughout the conference week.

How insane is this? A $6 halal cart always has a line rain or shine 24/7.

Saturday – First meetings

Went out for a Lobster risotto brunch – was delish!

Jordan and I caught a ridiculously big limo with a driver who called himself Obi1kenobe (official spelling), then hit up the Clickbooth Exchange event at the Marriott. I learned that someone has a product for everything – I mean everything! “Learn how to make sparkling Christmas tree decorations by recycling your toenails”?

Finally got to meet up with half of the mighty Team ASP crew (winners of the STM hunger games) aka The Thunder for Down Under: Josh, Andy, Jax, Trung, and Lionel Richie. The coolest cats ever.

Then meet up with the super nice ich bin Dutchies from Deutschland (Alex, Stef and Nick: I know your not Dutch, but you for ease of writing you are now a Dutchy).

Went to Kiss & Fly.

Kiss & Fly became the regular hangout

Sunday – Keen As

Meetings with some awesome top secret people.

Missed a meeting :S

News Flash: Between meetings, a guy with huge knife went round time square trying to slash people, police shot him.

Went to the London where we meet up with Max and his possé from WhatRunsWhere, Matt Wizzlewazzleman, Comrade Stanley from Wickedfire and Michael Pomposello from Micael Pomposello.

Had a sick dinner at Keens with C2M. It was amazing the roof was lined with thousands of smoking pipes.  Steve ordered a FOUR pound lobster. I’ve never seen such a beast. Thanks C2M!

Went up to the hotel, had a shave, got skuxxed up then went to the Badger Ball at the Hudson (which was very chill, definitely my favorite location for early night functions). I reunited with many good folks, in no particular order, and forgive me if my memory is off: Alex P, Ryan Peesant, Senor Ngo, Nicky Caké, Eleah, April, Naomi, Rohail, some guy in a unicorn mask, and a few new cats too.

Jordan attracted some hostile beef from the bar tender, unsure why.

Went to SL with Adsimilis.

Check out the ceiling!

Monday – Full Capacity

More meetings!

Went to our meet up with Adsimilis at the London Sky Suite. It was a grand success…with a few hiccups. We went a few times over the capacity allowed in the suite. Security guards were posted outside the suite door to stop any new people coming in. More people were stuck in the lobby than were at the actual meet up.

The London laid down a $2000 fine for the excess people we hosted!

For those who did make it in the suite, thanks for coming! I got to meet a tonne of STM members for the first time, and then some old friends like The Happy Russian, Justin B and the Sundance Kids, Giancarlo, Carlito and Josh O.

Team ASP, Adam W, Jordan and I went to dinner with W4 at Morimoto. Oh my word I have never seen so much sushi, it was insane! Josh was feeling the burn after scoffing down enough sushi rolls to feed a family of wild North African red bears. Thank you W4!

With full stomachs Jordan “efficiently” navigated us over to A4D’s event at The Griffin. It was packed. I got to meet my dance battle arch nemesis Gretchen M. Phil K: if you are reading this, sorry it took me a while to figure out who you were, you company name totally put me off!

We then went to Clickbooth at the Hudson again. It was quiet, apart from seeing Ian Fernando backing his thang up on the d-floor, I’ve never seen some use their prescription glasses as a prop for dancing (I would have said hey, but didn’t want to cramp your style).

The Griffin! Yes!

Tuesday – The Heartbreaker

More meetings!

Got picked up by C2M by this beast of a “limo” called “The Heatbreaker”. All the C2m crew were there, apart from Michael who recently got escorted out of the conference because he decided to pick up and shake the Lifelock mascot around. Also in the limo was Rohail, G Mario, and Israel’s 9th fastest 400m sprinter.

We headed over to the Yankees stadium and were set up in one of the lounges there, it was sick! I think I finally understand the game of baseball now. My highlight of the game was seeing the pitcher getting smashed in the calf muscle by a returning hit and trying to play it cool like it ain’t no thing. I gotta say going to a baseball game is a PERFECT environment for talking business.

After that, we took The Heartbreaker to Kiss in Fly. It felt like I was in some music video coming out of that limo walking straight into the nightclub infront of a huge line who had been waiting for an age.

Oh snap that’s The Heartbreaker

Wednesday – Mudslide

The conference was finally over. Team ASP and the Dutchies once again headed out for lunch. This time it was pastrami heaven, a famous place called Katz. Apart from the terrible service, the epic long wait and the crappy hot dogs, the MASSIVE pastrami sandwiches were half decent.

We then went to a juice bar famous for their “Mudslide” juices. Once again Josh felt the urge to feed him and the family living inside his body three times over. He destroyed close to three large thick juices. In the taxi ride home he was dry retching outside the window, vividly describing how far up the juices were in his throat.

That night we went had host the inaugural affiliate world cup of pool. If my memory serves me right Team NZ came up tops. We then ventured out to get some food where we were confronted by an intimidatingly sized tranny who either hated out accents or didn’t like the fact that we wanted to eat at one table. Marcus/Mary, the man/lady, wouldn’t let some of the guys out of the restaurant so we called the cops, it was great entertainment!

Katz Deli, mostly hype. Service 3/10 food 7/10

With food on our minds, we headed to time square. Finally got some food. Then Josh took the duty upon himself to plank on a cop car.

——————————————-

ADHD Summary:

Steve H. ate a four pound lobster. Andy D. can’t touch Halal. Josh M. eats too much. Don’t go to Katz.

Affiliate Summit East has grown a heck of a lot since last year.

The STM and Adsimilis meet up was full past capacity.  Fines were given.

The Hudson Terrace and The Griffin are the best places for events in NYC.

Going to a baseball game is great for talking business.

The Heartbreaker is a trucked sized limo that should be used to leverage access into any nightclub.

I love this industry, some many great people. Nice seeing you all!

Maynzie (Josh) on planking duty